First A Journal Entry from March:
The last four months have encapsulated a very unique season in the life of our family. Last November Jonathan started his job at Family Insight in Manassas. I, knowing I would be a single Mom for the unforeseen future, attempted to ease the transition for the kids in the best way I knew how…
I designed a poster board sized calendar. (The "J's" know what I'm talking about)
This colorful attempt to clarify the coming days was created for Evan in particular, but I think my soul (my Type A, super organized and scheduled self) knew that I would need it too. Anything upcoming and fun was highlighted on the calendar in bright colors, especially the weekend days when Daddy would be home. At that time, I thought I would only be making one calendar, maybe two at the most. As I was creating our fifth calendar yesterday I smiled, knowing that it will be the one that we will take with us to our new home.
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5 Calendars. Five Months. That’s how long Jonathan commuted, spending his weeks in Manassas and his weekends in Harrisonburg.
2 Months. That’s how long the boys and I commuted back to Harrisonburg every week.
By December, we could tell that it was going to be unlikely that we would be able to make the transition to Manassas as quickly as we had hoped. We decided that regardless of the timing of our move, I would finish out the school year teaching at BRCS and commute if need be. The response of the administration to my proposed schedule changes and needs regarding the commute was incredibly positive. Essentially, “whatever you need, we WANT you to stay!” What a blessing, to be so appreciated by colleagues.
Because of this decision though, even after we were finally able to move the last week of March, the boys and I spent three days a week for nine weeks in the Harrisonburg area. We stayed with my Mom and Dad and the boys continued attending daycare and preschool on the days I was working.
There were many days that I wasn't sure I could make it any more. Jonathan and I spent over half a year living under different roofs every week. Skype and Google Hangout became a life line. We would set up the computer and eat breakfast with Daddy, or get online so he could tell the boys a story before bed.
This brings me to my experience of Miracle #2... which is simply the fact that we survived this season of being apart. Not only did we survive, but we were strengthened in the process. From the very beginning, we saw God actively affecting our circumstances and our very hearts in times when we desperately needed Him to show His face.
There is this thought about the Christian life that “God won’t give you more than you can handle”... it's even a lyric in a popular Christian songs. However, this idea is not entirely true. The truth is that when you are weak, God is strong and it is His strength that allows you to handle whatever it is that is too heavy or too difficult for you. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: “The Lord said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
There were so many times over the past months that I did not feel like I could go on. The boys’ response to Jonathan’s absence was emotional, loud, and messy. Bad behavior seemed to come out nowhere and at a much higher rate than ever before. We faced, behavior issues at school, bad dreams at night, sickness, anxiety… there were some extremely challenging days. Yet, in the midst of it all God was so clearly present with us. And, as I said before, when I reached the end of my rope there was always someone there to be a physical representation of God’s love to me. A friend to help stabilize me so that I could keep on moving forward.
The greatest truth, which became more ingrained in my heart and mind over those seven months, was the importance of being a friend. A friend is aware of others’ needs and often puts them before their own. I want to be a friend like that. Thank you to all the friends who came beside us during this season in big ways and small. Our family is forever grateful!
This photo is pretty much a reflection of my life those seven months. As I cared for these boys I grew deeply in the areas of self-sacrifice, love, and silliness. Silliness most of all.