I spent the past two days with a dear friend who also happens to be my sister-in-law. We spent time, laughing, talking, and playing with my two boys and her nine month old baby girl. At one point I congratulated her, “This is your first Mother’s Day!” For some reason when I said it the phrase sounded trite to me. This afternoon, I have been reflecting on Mother’s Day. What is it's purpose? I mean, obviously to honor Mothers, but does our American commercialized version of “Mother’s Day” distract us from the value of Motherhood that we are trying to honor?
I have two young boys and I pour so much love into them every day. Over the past fifteen years I have also taught hundreds of students and at times acted as a mentor, investing my love and care into their lives. What does it mean to be a mother? Does Motherhood only apply to caring for a child in your home or do we see pieces of it leaking into other areas of society and culture. When a woman demonstrates “maternal tenderness and affection” (part of the definition according to Webster), or offers guidance and nurturing care towards someone, isn't that an expression of her motherhood being offered?
The American version of “Mother’s Day” actually stemmed from the joining together of mothers with a purpose and for a cause. A little over 100 years ago, Ann Reeves Jarvis helped to organize “Mothers’ Day Work Clubs”, which expanded into groups of mothers that helped promote reconciliation among people who were still much divided after the Civil War. The holiday began as one that honored mothers for the sacrifices they made for their kids and families. It was intended to be a day when people would visit their mothers and spend time with family. The commercialization of Mother’s Day is just our American story. That repetitive story where we take a simple idea, be it love, honor, friendship, thankfulness, charity, etc. and we market the crap out of it until we forget why we are celebrating.
I so appreciate being honored for being a Mother, but I don’t need a huge fruit basket, flower arrangement, jewelry, or another extravagant gift.
I watch my three year old son as he walks around the yard collecting dandelions that have gone to seed. As he runs up the deck steps, rushing to get them in a vase with water, the fragile white seeds bumping against his leg fall to the ground. By the time he gets them in a vase on the table, only about three fluffy “petals” remain. Even without the petals the flowers are beautiful. They are an expression of love for me and they are more than enough.
This Mother’s Day I want to honor the following mothers:
1) My biological Mom – You have been an amazing example of a loving, patient, nurturing mother. You didn’t give up on me even when I was a crazy adolescent and you have become one of my closest friends. I’d say we are “besties”.
2) My Mother-In-law – You were a wonderful mother to my husband and helped nurture him into the amazing man that he is in my life. For this I thank you. I am also so glad to have you in MY life and for all the care and love that you give to me and my family.
3) My sixth grade science teacher (Miss Finn) – You demonstrated a nurturing care towards my life at a VERY awkward time. I’m not sure I would have made it through middle school without your investment in me.
4) Every woman who is loving, guiding, and nurturing a child. This includes those sometimes forgotten: foster moms, mentors, teachers, daycare workers, and the list goes on. I am not saying that all of these relationships are to be compared to Mothers caring for their children in their home. I AM saying that Motherhood can take different shapes. Take time to thank the women in your life who nurtured you, loved you and somehow had patience with you instead of giving up on you. If you aren't a mom yet and you hope to be... invest where you are. The love and attention that you give to the young people around you does not go unnoticed.
And Moms: let’s be thankful for the petal-less flowers. Take time to notice the quiet expressions of thankfulness from our kids.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
I have two young boys and I pour so much love into them every day. Over the past fifteen years I have also taught hundreds of students and at times acted as a mentor, investing my love and care into their lives. What does it mean to be a mother? Does Motherhood only apply to caring for a child in your home or do we see pieces of it leaking into other areas of society and culture. When a woman demonstrates “maternal tenderness and affection” (part of the definition according to Webster), or offers guidance and nurturing care towards someone, isn't that an expression of her motherhood being offered?
The American version of “Mother’s Day” actually stemmed from the joining together of mothers with a purpose and for a cause. A little over 100 years ago, Ann Reeves Jarvis helped to organize “Mothers’ Day Work Clubs”, which expanded into groups of mothers that helped promote reconciliation among people who were still much divided after the Civil War. The holiday began as one that honored mothers for the sacrifices they made for their kids and families. It was intended to be a day when people would visit their mothers and spend time with family. The commercialization of Mother’s Day is just our American story. That repetitive story where we take a simple idea, be it love, honor, friendship, thankfulness, charity, etc. and we market the crap out of it until we forget why we are celebrating.
I so appreciate being honored for being a Mother, but I don’t need a huge fruit basket, flower arrangement, jewelry, or another extravagant gift.
I watch my three year old son as he walks around the yard collecting dandelions that have gone to seed. As he runs up the deck steps, rushing to get them in a vase with water, the fragile white seeds bumping against his leg fall to the ground. By the time he gets them in a vase on the table, only about three fluffy “petals” remain. Even without the petals the flowers are beautiful. They are an expression of love for me and they are more than enough.
This Mother’s Day I want to honor the following mothers:
1) My biological Mom – You have been an amazing example of a loving, patient, nurturing mother. You didn’t give up on me even when I was a crazy adolescent and you have become one of my closest friends. I’d say we are “besties”.
2) My Mother-In-law – You were a wonderful mother to my husband and helped nurture him into the amazing man that he is in my life. For this I thank you. I am also so glad to have you in MY life and for all the care and love that you give to me and my family.
3) My sixth grade science teacher (Miss Finn) – You demonstrated a nurturing care towards my life at a VERY awkward time. I’m not sure I would have made it through middle school without your investment in me.
4) Every woman who is loving, guiding, and nurturing a child. This includes those sometimes forgotten: foster moms, mentors, teachers, daycare workers, and the list goes on. I am not saying that all of these relationships are to be compared to Mothers caring for their children in their home. I AM saying that Motherhood can take different shapes. Take time to thank the women in your life who nurtured you, loved you and somehow had patience with you instead of giving up on you. If you aren't a mom yet and you hope to be... invest where you are. The love and attention that you give to the young people around you does not go unnoticed.
And Moms: let’s be thankful for the petal-less flowers. Take time to notice the quiet expressions of thankfulness from our kids.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!